Hi there,
As Anthony developed in his first few years we noticed extremes .. things he was really good at .. and other things that he just couldn't fathom.
On the positive side, he was a very loving little boy who loved his cuddles.
He adored music and dancing , was a superb clear reader, learned his "times table" off by heart and was "champion speller"
On the other hand, he could be naughty and was always worried about things .. coming in late at night to our bedroom .. not having been able to sleep " .. Daddy ..will I be tired in the morning?"
Eventually it dawned on us that although he could read perfectly .. he had no clue what the story was about .. just reading mechanically ..
His writing was very spidery .. and still won't win any prizes - but has improved with lots and lots and lots of practice.
Also the times table although he knew 6 X 6 was 36 without even thinking..... He couldn't translate it into real life ...
So if we said "Anthony if 6 children are given 6 sweets each .. how many sweets are there?" .... The question was met with a blank look .. or often a complete guess 13, 42 , 27 etc. Desperately hoping he would find the answer by luck
I played a lot of back garden ball games with him constantly practicing catching and kicking .
At firts he found it very difficult .. I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t do what I thought were the simplest physical things .. was he lazy?
And suddenly (maybe it was all the practice .. or something clicked in his brain.. but) at age 6 he learned to catch fantastically well, kick a ball properly and learned to ride a bike (Although he was never keen on cycling .. even to this day).
*** Rock climbing on holiday
He wasn't a big fan of Swimming ..but did learn to swim quite well - and at the same time lost his fear of water... which had included large puddles on the beach !
Didn't have the physical power needed for Competitive sports (although became a tough competitor in his late teens).
If anything strikes a chord please post your comments below.
Thanks
Des
The story of my eldest son Anthony who was diagnosed with Dyspraxia at the age of 4. He's now 25 with a lovely two year old daughter of his own (she does not have dyspraxia). A chance to fast forward through key stages of a dyspraxic child's development. Although all children are unique it is something I would have appreciated 20 years ago. I hope it helps you.
Wednesday 14 May 2008
Monday 12 May 2008
Anxious toddler
During his first year Anthony continued to be very anxious.
I remember doing the vacuum cleaning (which was very noisy) .. and it was only when I’d finished - did I hear the sobbing from his room .. running up the stairs - I found him lying traumatised in his cot .. with tears streaming down his face - thinking he’d been left alone.
Welcome to the joys of being a parent !! How to get a guilt trip for life !
These memories I’m digging up - still make me feel bad – but if your children are experiencing similar anxiety. You should know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and to 95% of people whi meet Anthony now , he displays no obvious signs of anything being wrong.
They say Dyspraxia it is the hidden disability - because nothing is visibly wrong.
What is true is he has made massive progress over the years through the time, help and patience from a lot of caring people at school and home
.. and his own perseverance of course
You may know there is quite a lot of unintentional peer pressure amongst other parents .. so there is always some degree of competition around .....whose child walks and talks first etc.
Anthony didn’t walk unaided until he was 14 months .. and when he did .. he was Bambi on ice personified.
With a 5 weeks premature handicap – he was much smaller, weaker and anxious than the other children. He did not enjoy the rough and tumble of other toddlers and was very shy, he would not join in .. preferring to be a spectator on the outside looking in at the games.
He would get very excited at the games the other children were playing .. but didn’t want to participate.
He was clumsy, had poor balance and couldn’t do the ordinary physical activities that seemed second nature for most other kids.
Climbing the ladder of indoor plastic play slides was like scaling Mount Everest for him. And climbing-frames a nightmare - he could never figure out where to put his feet or hands.
I found it very frustrating - “he’ll grow out of it” was the usual response when we voiced our fears.
I had my doubts but we practiced and practiced these physical activities, although it clearly made him stressful.
I remember him standing on a small brick wall in the back garden .. no more than 9” high and him screaming in panic .. thinking he would fall.
It seems funny now .. but at the time it was gut wrenching stuff wondering what the problem was.
There was also the time he must have been around 18 months - he was in his baby seat in the back of the Car .. when I decided to take the car through an automatic carwash. – Big mistake!
I thought he’d find it exciting … but when the noise started - the water jets pounding the roof and the huge cleaning brushes enveloping the car .. he became hysterical - screaming in terror, despite all attempts to placate and comfort him.
It was just like that scene in the classic horror film ‘The Omen’ when Gregory Peck tries to take the young Damien to church.
My Dad was in the passenger seat was totally shocked - his face white. “Something’s wrong with him”
On the positive side Anthony had (and still does have) a fantastic long term memory of events.
When he was only three he knew all his numbers and would take great delight reading the numbers on all the houses in the street.
And from an early age certainly when he was three he could read very clearly … we thought we had a potential genius on our hands … But what we didn’t know was that he was not understanding the stories he was reading
… But that’s a topic for the next post.
Post your comments below.
Cheers
Des
I remember doing the vacuum cleaning (which was very noisy) .. and it was only when I’d finished - did I hear the sobbing from his room .. running up the stairs - I found him lying traumatised in his cot .. with tears streaming down his face - thinking he’d been left alone.
Welcome to the joys of being a parent !! How to get a guilt trip for life !
These memories I’m digging up - still make me feel bad – but if your children are experiencing similar anxiety. You should know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and to 95% of people whi meet Anthony now , he displays no obvious signs of anything being wrong.
They say Dyspraxia it is the hidden disability - because nothing is visibly wrong.
What is true is he has made massive progress over the years through the time, help and patience from a lot of caring people at school and home
.. and his own perseverance of course
You may know there is quite a lot of unintentional peer pressure amongst other parents .. so there is always some degree of competition around .....whose child walks and talks first etc.
Anthony didn’t walk unaided until he was 14 months .. and when he did .. he was Bambi on ice personified.
With a 5 weeks premature handicap – he was much smaller, weaker and anxious than the other children. He did not enjoy the rough and tumble of other toddlers and was very shy, he would not join in .. preferring to be a spectator on the outside looking in at the games.
He would get very excited at the games the other children were playing .. but didn’t want to participate.
He was clumsy, had poor balance and couldn’t do the ordinary physical activities that seemed second nature for most other kids.
Climbing the ladder of indoor plastic play slides was like scaling Mount Everest for him. And climbing-frames a nightmare - he could never figure out where to put his feet or hands.
I found it very frustrating - “he’ll grow out of it” was the usual response when we voiced our fears.
I had my doubts but we practiced and practiced these physical activities, although it clearly made him stressful.
I remember him standing on a small brick wall in the back garden .. no more than 9” high and him screaming in panic .. thinking he would fall.
It seems funny now .. but at the time it was gut wrenching stuff wondering what the problem was.
There was also the time he must have been around 18 months - he was in his baby seat in the back of the Car .. when I decided to take the car through an automatic carwash. – Big mistake!
I thought he’d find it exciting … but when the noise started - the water jets pounding the roof and the huge cleaning brushes enveloping the car .. he became hysterical - screaming in terror, despite all attempts to placate and comfort him.
It was just like that scene in the classic horror film ‘The Omen’ when Gregory Peck tries to take the young Damien to church.
My Dad was in the passenger seat was totally shocked - his face white. “Something’s wrong with him”
On the positive side Anthony had (and still does have) a fantastic long term memory of events.
When he was only three he knew all his numbers and would take great delight reading the numbers on all the houses in the street.
And from an early age certainly when he was three he could read very clearly … we thought we had a potential genius on our hands … But what we didn’t know was that he was not understanding the stories he was reading
… But that’s a topic for the next post.
Post your comments below.
Cheers
Des
Friday 9 May 2008
Walking and Talking
Hi,
Now that we had Anthonny home, we did start to have some serious problems.
It's always difficult with a first child because:-
1) It's all new and you don't know what is / isn't normal behaviour
2) There is no parenting manual
3) Everyone else is an expert .. and insists on telling you ... that you are doing it all wrong.
So you get all the helpful hints like ...
Let him cry himself to sleep .. turn the radio up .. you're not giving him enough milk, ...you're too soft with him. Oh my little Johnny is much better at that ... Isn't he crawling yet??? Oh isn't he shy ...
Now to be fair we had a lot of good advice and support from various friends and familiy - which is really important.
But it does knock your self confidence when other kids seem to be doing better .. one part is ashamed that you aren't a great parent .. and the other is ashamed that you haven't produced a budding Beckham or Blair ... maybe not the best examples ..... but you get the idea.
Anyway as I remember there were some things that maybe pointed to Dyspraxia:-
1) He didn't sleep through for one single night - until he was 12 months old
2) He was a very anxious baby ... and would liiterally make himself sick in his cot if there was no-one in the bedroom with him when he was going to sleep or - if no-one arrived within 2 minutes of him waking up
3) A very fussy eater
4) He had very sensitive hearing and would wake up at the slightest noise
5) Had one favourite Dummy / pacifier - and wouldn't be comforted by any other new dummies.. In the end it began to disintegrate .. and we were afraid he'd swallow it .. so we had to chop it up and throw it away.
6) He didn't walk until 14months old ... but Unusually based on what we’ve read - he did crawl
http://www.growingkids.co.uk/ClumsyChildrenDyspraxia.html
At this stage ... we knew things weren't quite right
But the advice was always the same .. Don't worry .. he'll grow out of it.
Hmmm .. In a way it's true ... but was still tough to experience at the time.
Next post - things became more pronounced in the Toddler phase.
Cheers
Post your comments below.
Des
Now that we had Anthonny home, we did start to have some serious problems.
It's always difficult with a first child because:-
1) It's all new and you don't know what is / isn't normal behaviour
2) There is no parenting manual
3) Everyone else is an expert .. and insists on telling you ... that you are doing it all wrong.
So you get all the helpful hints like ...
Let him cry himself to sleep .. turn the radio up .. you're not giving him enough milk, ...you're too soft with him. Oh my little Johnny is much better at that ... Isn't he crawling yet??? Oh isn't he shy ...
Now to be fair we had a lot of good advice and support from various friends and familiy - which is really important.
But it does knock your self confidence when other kids seem to be doing better .. one part is ashamed that you aren't a great parent .. and the other is ashamed that you haven't produced a budding Beckham or Blair ... maybe not the best examples ..... but you get the idea.
Anyway as I remember there were some things that maybe pointed to Dyspraxia:-
1) He didn't sleep through for one single night - until he was 12 months old
2) He was a very anxious baby ... and would liiterally make himself sick in his cot if there was no-one in the bedroom with him when he was going to sleep or - if no-one arrived within 2 minutes of him waking up
3) A very fussy eater
4) He had very sensitive hearing and would wake up at the slightest noise
5) Had one favourite Dummy / pacifier - and wouldn't be comforted by any other new dummies.. In the end it began to disintegrate .. and we were afraid he'd swallow it .. so we had to chop it up and throw it away.
6) He didn't walk until 14months old ... but Unusually based on what we’ve read - he did crawl
http://www.growingkids.co.uk/ClumsyChildrenDyspraxia.html
At this stage ... we knew things weren't quite right
But the advice was always the same .. Don't worry .. he'll grow out of it.
Hmmm .. In a way it's true ... but was still tough to experience at the time.
Next post - things became more pronounced in the Toddler phase.
Cheers
Post your comments below.
Des
Wednesday 7 May 2008
Finally getting him home
After the trauma of the birth, we wanted to get him home as soon as possible.
Unfortunately Anthony was classified as too small (5 weeks early and only weighing 4 pounds 5 ounces) to leave hospital.
So we had the unexpected pleasure of visiting him in Frimley Park Hospital 3 times a day for the next 2 weeks, while he stayed nice and warm in the SCBU intensive baby unit sunning himself under the ultra-violet lamp to fight off the jaundice that seems to affect premature babies.
For the first few days Anthony had to be fed via a nose tube .. which he kept pulling out ... and he really did look so vulnerable and pathetic that we felt terrible leaving him there each evening. But there was nothing we could do but wait until he grew a little stronger.
Debbie was stressed with the visiting .. and Anthony was too small and tired .. to be able to breast feed successfully. We tried the "expressing breast milk" trick .. unfortunately it never seemed to be a satisfactory way to stimulate the natural milk production and 95% of the time Anthony was much happier being fed powdered milk from a bottle .. even he did have to put up with his new Dad pouring some into his eyes - with my first attempt!
Finally after 2 weeks the Doctors said we could take him home .. and very proud parents we were .. even if I got no sleep that first night - spending most of it wide awake listening to him breathe .. and hoping he wouldn't stop.
For the record Anthony was officially a premature baby and throughout all his early years he was smaller than the average Apgar score
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apgar_score
and in the lowest centile region
http://encyclopedia.farlex.com/height-weight+chart
Despite all that - He's now almost 6 feet tall and weighs 12 stones... so he did eventually catch up with his peer group.
Unfortunately Anthony was classified as too small (5 weeks early and only weighing 4 pounds 5 ounces) to leave hospital.
So we had the unexpected pleasure of visiting him in Frimley Park Hospital 3 times a day for the next 2 weeks, while he stayed nice and warm in the SCBU intensive baby unit sunning himself under the ultra-violet lamp to fight off the jaundice that seems to affect premature babies.
For the first few days Anthony had to be fed via a nose tube .. which he kept pulling out ... and he really did look so vulnerable and pathetic that we felt terrible leaving him there each evening. But there was nothing we could do but wait until he grew a little stronger.
Debbie was stressed with the visiting .. and Anthony was too small and tired .. to be able to breast feed successfully. We tried the "expressing breast milk" trick .. unfortunately it never seemed to be a satisfactory way to stimulate the natural milk production and 95% of the time Anthony was much happier being fed powdered milk from a bottle .. even he did have to put up with his new Dad pouring some into his eyes - with my first attempt!
Finally after 2 weeks the Doctors said we could take him home .. and very proud parents we were .. even if I got no sleep that first night - spending most of it wide awake listening to him breathe .. and hoping he wouldn't stop.
For the record Anthony was officially a premature baby and throughout all his early years he was smaller than the average Apgar score
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apgar_score
and in the lowest centile region
http://encyclopedia.farlex.com/height-weight+chart
Despite all that - He's now almost 6 feet tall and weighs 12 stones... so he did eventually catch up with his peer group.
Tuesday 6 May 2008
A traumatic birth
Hi there,
After 21 years you can afford yourself a lot of hindsight.
So I thought I'd go back into the mists of time, to when my eldest son Anthony was first born - to see if there are any obvious clues as to why Anthony was born with dyspraxia.
Certainly there is some evidence of Anxiety in the family roots, but for now I'll concentrate on the main events leading up to and just after Anthony's birth.
Always being an impatient child .. Anthony decided he'd turn up for duty five weeks earlier than expected - at 01.15 - on 15 May 1987.
I guess we'd done the thing everyone warns you not to do ..
Yes we had moved to a new house - earlier that same day.
I'm told that moving house is only marginally less stressful than family bereavement!... and after the events of that day .. I can certainly believe it.
Shortly after all the furniture had been moved into the new home, my wife, Debbie, who was a trained nurse decided to hang up the bedroom curtains - this was probably a bit too strenuous to do in her condition .. and unknown to me she went into the first stages of labour in the early evening.
I was too busy shifting boxes to notice anything wrong and Debbie despite all the signs that her pregnancy was now at a very advanced stage - remained in denial to herself, even when "the plug" came out and contractions started coming every 2 minutes.
And it was only as I was ready to collapse into our bed at 23.00 that evening, that I heard a small quiet voice say .. "Des I think we'd better go to the hospital ... now".
So in a state of disbelief .. and a Rover 800 saloon ... we made our way to Frimley Park hospital http://www.frimleypark.nhs.uk/
Every one likes the thought of a natural birth .... and the hospital was horribly noisy, the distinctive smell of antiseptic, and harsh lighting everywhere.. but at least you knew there would be a Doctor nearby if things became tricky.
As the Doctors' checked Debbie out - I was holding her hand tightly .. but making sure I was standing a long way from the "business end".
The Doctors - when they realised Anthony's foetal heartbeat was increasing - and he was showing signs of distress, they told us that they'd have to get him out quick ... and that meant breaking the waters and giving Debbie a pretty severe episiotomy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Episiotomy
Anthony came out in one quick movement - head first .. and face down .. leaving me with the horrifying suspicion he'd been born with no face!
I focussed my attention on Debbie .. but was acutely aware in the background that Anthony had not cried for at least a minute after he was born .. and it was a huge relief when he eventually cried out and started breathing.
He looked like a tiny doll, weighing in at - a less than strapping - 4lbs 5 ounces (just 2 Kilos)
Who knows if that lack of oxygen in the first 45-60 seconds was partly to blame for his dyspraxic condition?
Anthony was wrapped in aluminium foil - looking for all the world like a hastily made picnic lunch - and rushed off to the SCBU intensive baby care unit.
Debbie was left - lying awake all night in the hospital wondering if Anthony was alive or dead.
While I made my way home at 03.00 to our new house - not sure if it had really happened or if it was a surreal video.
The journey had begun.
After 21 years you can afford yourself a lot of hindsight.
So I thought I'd go back into the mists of time, to when my eldest son Anthony was first born - to see if there are any obvious clues as to why Anthony was born with dyspraxia.
Certainly there is some evidence of Anxiety in the family roots, but for now I'll concentrate on the main events leading up to and just after Anthony's birth.
Always being an impatient child .. Anthony decided he'd turn up for duty five weeks earlier than expected - at 01.15 - on 15 May 1987.
I guess we'd done the thing everyone warns you not to do ..
Yes we had moved to a new house - earlier that same day.
I'm told that moving house is only marginally less stressful than family bereavement!... and after the events of that day .. I can certainly believe it.
Shortly after all the furniture had been moved into the new home, my wife, Debbie, who was a trained nurse decided to hang up the bedroom curtains - this was probably a bit too strenuous to do in her condition .. and unknown to me she went into the first stages of labour in the early evening.
I was too busy shifting boxes to notice anything wrong and Debbie despite all the signs that her pregnancy was now at a very advanced stage - remained in denial to herself, even when "the plug" came out and contractions started coming every 2 minutes.
And it was only as I was ready to collapse into our bed at 23.00 that evening, that I heard a small quiet voice say .. "Des I think we'd better go to the hospital ... now".
So in a state of disbelief .. and a Rover 800 saloon ... we made our way to Frimley Park hospital http://www.frimleypark.nhs.uk/
Every one likes the thought of a natural birth .... and the hospital was horribly noisy, the distinctive smell of antiseptic, and harsh lighting everywhere.. but at least you knew there would be a Doctor nearby if things became tricky.
As the Doctors' checked Debbie out - I was holding her hand tightly .. but making sure I was standing a long way from the "business end".
The Doctors - when they realised Anthony's foetal heartbeat was increasing - and he was showing signs of distress, they told us that they'd have to get him out quick ... and that meant breaking the waters and giving Debbie a pretty severe episiotomy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Episiotomy
Anthony came out in one quick movement - head first .. and face down .. leaving me with the horrifying suspicion he'd been born with no face!
I focussed my attention on Debbie .. but was acutely aware in the background that Anthony had not cried for at least a minute after he was born .. and it was a huge relief when he eventually cried out and started breathing.
He looked like a tiny doll, weighing in at - a less than strapping - 4lbs 5 ounces (just 2 Kilos)
Who knows if that lack of oxygen in the first 45-60 seconds was partly to blame for his dyspraxic condition?
Anthony was wrapped in aluminium foil - looking for all the world like a hastily made picnic lunch - and rushed off to the SCBU intensive baby care unit.
Debbie was left - lying awake all night in the hospital wondering if Anthony was alive or dead.
While I made my way home at 03.00 to our new house - not sure if it had really happened or if it was a surreal video.
The journey had begun.
Monday 5 May 2008
Early signs
Hi,
Not sure how many people weill be interested by this topic, but I will visit a few other related sites and blogs and see if many people are interested.
My lad Anthony is 21 in a couple of week's time, so I will cover all the exciting times we've shared around exams, parties, alcohol, girlfriends, driving lessons and holding down a job.
However my next post will focus on early signs that indicated Anthony was bit different from other children.
So I will cover:-
First year symptoms
Toddler time
Pre-school
The weather is baking here today in London... makes a welcome change
So I will add these posts in the evening or later in the week.
Post your comments if there is a particular age range you are particularly interested in.
Take care
Des
Not sure how many people weill be interested by this topic, but I will visit a few other related sites and blogs and see if many people are interested.
My lad Anthony is 21 in a couple of week's time, so I will cover all the exciting times we've shared around exams, parties, alcohol, girlfriends, driving lessons and holding down a job.
However my next post will focus on early signs that indicated Anthony was bit different from other children.
So I will cover:-
First year symptoms
Toddler time
Pre-school
The weather is baking here today in London... makes a welcome change
So I will add these posts in the evening or later in the week.
Post your comments if there is a particular age range you are particularly interested in.
Take care
Des
Saturday 3 May 2008
Welcome
Hi there and welcome,
I guess if you've arrived at this page, then either you (or someone you know) must have been diagnosed with "Dyspraxia" and are probably wondering if there is a cure ...or will it just go away.
I can only speak from my experiences and feelings of what it is like having a son who was diagnosed with Dyspraxia at the age of 4. He's 21 in a couple of week's time. So as you can imagine there have been quite a few stories over the last 17 years of what it has been like for him and the rest of our family ... Dealing with Dyspraxia.
If you haven't already come across this link then this is a good place to get an understanding of what help is available
http://www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/
All children are unique but I remember how I felt wondering what the road ahead was going to be like for my son. So I thought this might be a useful guide for parents, relatives and friends of children who show signs of dyspraxia.
If it is of interest please post your comments below.
Thanks
Des
I guess if you've arrived at this page, then either you (or someone you know) must have been diagnosed with "Dyspraxia" and are probably wondering if there is a cure ...or will it just go away.
I can only speak from my experiences and feelings of what it is like having a son who was diagnosed with Dyspraxia at the age of 4. He's 21 in a couple of week's time. So as you can imagine there have been quite a few stories over the last 17 years of what it has been like for him and the rest of our family ... Dealing with Dyspraxia.
If you haven't already come across this link then this is a good place to get an understanding of what help is available
http://www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/
All children are unique but I remember how I felt wondering what the road ahead was going to be like for my son. So I thought this might be a useful guide for parents, relatives and friends of children who show signs of dyspraxia.
If it is of interest please post your comments below.
Thanks
Des
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)